Sovereign Keyblades Chapter 18 Keyblades and Crimson Roses
by megan.j.mcdaniel
Summary: Mashed a half chapter to the beginning of this. :P Yes, messy much. Yes, tragic much. Sue me. it was gonna happen, and it only gets more bumpy.


Then his other hand melts into my back, and I shudder to gasp out, "AH! Nicholas, what are you-" His kiss to my lips silences me, then his hand cups my heart in my chest for his fingers to gently lace over it's pace. Even though I jerk and writhe under this blessed torture, his aura holds my chest firmly in place. His fingers lightly trace over my heart in all the right places to give me roaring pleasure, his other hand stroking hard into the apex of my heart against my ribs as I choke and tremble in abandon. His lips trace a path down my neck over my pulse, his hands giving my heart all of his attention as it pumps in a frenzied tempo against his fingertips. His lips drift down my collar and to my sternum, his breath washing over my skin as his fingers delve into my ribs and gently rub over my heart. Then his fingers at the apex of my heart drift through to stroke over the actual heart tissue, holding it in both hands for him to slowly take my heart out with great care. My eyes go wide as the pumping sensation leaves my chest, my heart nestled in his hands for him to give a warm smile at the sight of it's pace against his fingers. "At last, your heart is now mine. I'm going to enjoy this. Knowing every last pump of this treasure and the flow of blood and exctasy through you will be under my attentions. I shall kiss and caress your heart and very soul in my hands as it's fluttering kisses my lips and fingertips in turn." Every blessedly wicked word sends heat and desired bliss shooting through me, the beat against his fingers quickening as Wolfwood grins at the sight. I shudder and say, "Nicholas... You... I... Oh Lord... I-" I shiver and jerk as his thumbs and fingers rub over my heart in his hold, feeling every gentle yet searing touch as I tremble and choke on a screamed, "AH! NICHOLAS!" His laugh is sinful as his gaze drifts from my heart up to my eyes, his words full of dark amusement as he states, "You can't possibly want me to stop, Megan. You enjoy this kind of lovemaking most of all. You started this when you went to Rome, I'm just choosing now to finish it. Now then, my precious child of light. Let me make love to you in the way you cherish the most." I jerk and shudder at just the promise, my heart visibly skipping in his hold as he laughs to gently place his lips to the beat. His breath plays over my heart as his fingers nestle it in his palms, every kiss and lick against it's chambers sending me to orgasm over and over for him. He gives me no quarter as the moments stretch to hours for all I know, the pace of my heart hard and frenzied as he gifts me all that he has to offer in this act of desire. My screaming and shouting is evident as he gives me more joy and loving intimacy than I've ever known in just this simple act of touch. My entire body and soul are sent to heights of unreached splendor over and over again, until I'm hoarse and shaking with emphasis in the grip of his magic. Lord have mercy... I've completely lost track of time... Along with how many times I've come for him... I'm amazed I kept track after the fifth... Or was it the seventh that I just stopped caring...?! My air is ragged as Wolfwood laughs, my eyes unfocused as I beg him with what little air I have, "Mercy... I can't... take anymore... Nicholas... Please..." But his lips press to mine in a deep kiss, my body trembling as his laugh washes into my mouth. "Not just yet, Megan. Not until you are fully ready to say yes to having me do this to you for the rest of our lives." I go wide eyed when he says this to me, realizing what he's doing to choke out, "You're doing this... to PROPOSE...?!" His grin is wide as he tells me, "Exactly. Now then, to give you one more moment of bliss." Then he continues, his lips kissing over one of the arteries leading to my heart as I scream and shiver. His lips gently trace over each chamber to then press to the center of my heart, right over where my septum separates the chambers inside. I choke and spasm like Wolfwood electrocuted me, sending me into a kelidascope of sensations once more as his hands cup over the evident pounding in his hold. Then I give one last hard jerk as something inside me gives and I fall into the black, going limp in the air before my heart stutters and stops beating in his hands.

Wolfwood goes stock still to look down at my heart, his fingers twitching over it's stillness to whisper, "...Megan? ...Megan?! No...! MEGAN, NO!" He lays me down onto the floor with what power he has left, his hands shaking as they trace over my lifeless heart to start massaging the chambers like I showed him for the cardiac massage. My eyes roll back as he carefully squeezes my heart into proper contractions, his eyes streaming as he chokes out, "No! I didn't want this! Shit! Megan! Come back! Oh God, I can't have- NO! WORK ALREADY! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD START BEATING AGAIN! MEGAN! COME BACK! OH LORD PLEASE, NO! MEGAN!" Wolfwood looks up as Vash starts banging on the door with emphasis outside of the room, his own voice frantic as he tugs on the door handle. "NICHOLAS! WHAT HAPPENED?! OPEN THE DOOR! LET ME IN!" Wolfwood chokes as he starts to panic and shouts out, "I- I- VASH! HELP ME! HURRY!" Vash slams through the door in the next second, his eyes going wide once he sees us and what Wolfwood is holding. Vash chokes at the sight of my lifeless frame and my heart sitting still and silent in Wolfwood's shaking hands, going down hard on his knees across from Wolfwood as he shouts out, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" Wolfwood chokes as Vash leans down and puts his mouth to mine, breathing air into my lungs as Wolfwood says, "Vash, I just- I didn't- Do you really think I meant for this to happen?!" Vash growls as Wolfwood sobs and chokes, his gaze glaring at him to shout, "Damn it, Nicholas! Use your magic to defibrilate her heart! It's the best chance to save her than just doing the cardiac massage!" Wolfwood shakes to tell him, "Don't you think I would have already if I could?! I'm tapped out! Vash, save her! Please!" Vash needs hear no more, his hands replacing Wolfwood's to nestle my heart in his hold and lace a current through the chambers. His power washes over the whole room as he casts, resetting my heart rythmn in seconds for it to twitch and then beat once more under his direct control. My air comes on a hard gasp as I start coughing, the both of them giving sighs of relief as my heart keeps a steadied pace in Vash's palms. Vash gently touches my heart to his chest against his own as it beats a slowed and even rythmn, then he carefully places my heart back into my frame. Vash keeps his right hand inside of me to keep his touch to my heart, bringing the other hand out to point at Wolfwood and seethe, "You stupid ass! This was the most reckless and foolhardy thing you have ever done! I OUGHT TO KILL YOU FOR THIS!" I give another hard cough as Vash uses his free hand to lift me up and into his embrace, the hand at my heart gently holding his full hand to the pace against his fingers. My nose starts leaking red as he hugs me tight, his glare at Wolfwood as sharp as a blade as he demands, "What the Hell were you thinking, Nicholas?! Don't even think to make excuses! I had the Bond wrapped over me to make certain she was okay and hightailed it the moment I noted how long her heart had been pounding without stopping! You know full well Megan can't take such blatant stress for such a long period of time! So what would dare possess you to do such a thing?!" Wolfwood goes dead still as Vash glares at him, his eyes going wide as he tells him, "Do you really believe I meant to hurt her?! Vash! I was doing all this to propose!" Vash goes stock still, his eyes going just as wide as he asks, "You did this to what?! That's why you asked for her to be with you for the night?! So you could drive her past all semblance of resistance with your attentions until she'd say yes?!" Wolfwood chokes as he tells him, "FINE! Yes! That is exactly what I was doing! I wanted to make her mine! Even if it meant going behind your back! It was a last ditch effort to keep her for myself indefinitely, since we both know full well she'll choose you first!" Vash goes dead still to ask him in shock, "Is that really what you think?" Wolfwood nods. "Why else would she give me a letter, Vash?! I don't have to read it to know what I can see between the two of you! I've known since you supposedly died when we went after Gasback! I know beyond any semblance of doubt she loves me, but it's YOU that she's IN love with! I just... I love her... Yet I know... I've already lost..." Vash takes a minute to absorb all this as Wolfwood hangs his head in defeat, but his words are still full of anger as Vash fumes, "So if you can't have her, you'd send her to where no one else can?!" Wolfwood jerks hard as tears stream from his eyes, his air coming in ragged sobs as he says, "Vash! You know full well I didn't mean to-" But the snarl Vash gives him has him go dead quiet. "I DON'T CARE, NICHOLAS! It was reckless and selfish, not to mention completely inexcuseable! I ought to rip you into pieces for what you almost cost the both of us! I've lived for over a hundred and twenty years without this kind of love, and I'll be damned if you or anyone else takes her from me now that I do! I won't let you rip that away from me! Especially if you're too blinded by your own desires to put her first! You hear me Nicholas?!"

But the both of them are very surprised when I reach up a hand and lightly slap Vash in the face. "Like I'll let... you hurt him... for any reason... crimson bird..." I go limp again as they both look down at me, my eyes opening for my voice to choke out, "It was an accident, Vash... I'm as much to blame... if there is any... to be handed out... And I am my own... to give to... whomever I choose... So stuff your anger... right back where... it came from..." I look to Wolfwood and hold my hand out, which he takes immediately to tell me, "Megan! I swear I never meant to hurt you! Please, you have to know that! I'd never-" I cut in before he can continue. "Enough... I know that... If anything... I commend you... for such an... amazing proposal... It was literally... to die for..." I give a breathless laugh as they both flinch, but my words are warm as I tell him, "Don't get all... bent out of shape... I clearly enjoyed... that way too much... So take it... as a compliment..." My fingers grip tight to his as Wolfwood chokes before Vash growls at me, "Oh really, that's all you're gonna say to him?! Would it make any difference to either of you if I said your own internal pacemaker still hasn't kickstarted back up?!" I go wide eyed to look up at him, then Wolfwood realizes what he means." You mean her heart isn't beating on it's own?! But that means- That means..." I give a slight cough as Vash glares at Wolfwood with all the fury he can muster, the hand around my heart twitching over the tissue as he states, "Yes! If I let go, her heart stops again! We were warned what would happen if we pushed her too far! But as you can clearly see, you've done enough to-" I reach up and place my hand over his lips to say, "No... Stop... It wasn't intentional... You know that... So plug that vent... before you spew... any more hot air... But Vash... You may want... to raise the... pace a little... before I pass out..." But the beat in my chest gets slower instead, the lessening of blood flow making me shiver to whisper, "Ah... Vash... What...?" Then everything goes black and I pass out like he intended, my head lolling to the side as Wolfwood goes wide eyed. "Megan?! Vash, what are you doing?! Why'd you let her pass out?!" Vash makes his point clear in his next move, laying me down to the floor for his free hand to whip out his gun and point it right at Wolfwood's face. "Get out of here, Nicholas! I don't want you around until she has enough strength to stop me from murdering you! You walk out that door right now, before I do something all three of us will regret!" Wolfwood goes wide eyed in shock, his hand in mine gripping tight as he whispers, "Vash. You can't possibly mean that." But Vash give him a dead pan look as he says in an equally dead pan voice, "Do you really think I won't take some pleasure at shooting you right now? Just get out before I let myself ruin all we've already been through. Or do you really want for me to kill you for Megan to hate herself as much as the both of us for my actions?" Wolfwood jerks and grits his teeth, nodding to let go of my hand to get up and grab his things. The last thing he takes is my letter, tucking it into his jacket as he says, "Don't you dare let your anger outweight your better judgement, needle noggin. Especially if your energy bottoms out." Vash give a humorless laugh at this to tell him, "You forget, I have all the power I need. I can keep her alive all night if I need to. Just go, I need time to get over all this rage I've got in my system." Wolfwood gives a hard sigh to say, "I know, and it's warranted. Hell, I'm surprised you haven't blown yet. But I get it, just don't let it eat at you for too long." Vash nods to say, "I know you'd never willingly hurt her, Nicholas. You love Megan just as much as I do. But I won't let anyone else still this heart that has broken and shattered far too often already. I'll call you the moment things get back on track or I need your help. You have my word."

Wolfwood gives a hard sigh to say, "I know. On a side note, congratulations." Vash shakes his head to say, "Idiot. I'm not asking her for that." Wolfwood goes wide eyed to say, "What?" Vash looks down at me to note my half dead state, and his words are full of sadness. "I was before the incident with Gasback, but I don't think I can anymore. Not after all the pain and agony she's gone through. I will not risk her getting attached to me in such a permanent manner, only to have her lose me because of our way of life. I don't have the heart to risk that kind of thing. Not even to make her mine." Wolfwood sighs to shake his head, his words before leaving a resolute, "Geez. You're more of an idiot than I am, needle noggin. That's the exact reason why you need to ask her as soon as possible." The door closes as Vash gives a long sigh and he whispers, "Then I'll stay an idiot for now." His thumb rubs over the center of my heart, his magic delving deep to lace all through the valves and chambers to bring my own pacemaker inside me back to life. I give a twitch as his spell takes hold over me, the chambers of my heart skipping once to then beat on their own without his help. His hand comes away to reach into a pocket, bringing out the hankerchief I got him to press it to my leaking nose. I give a murmur as I lean into his touch, his smile full of sadness as Vash notes this to say, "Nicholas is right. Isn't he Megan? You would choose me first. It's why you call me beloved and not him. How long has it been me, I wonder? Should I ask you to me my wife regardless of my fear? Can I make you such a promise without hurting you further sometime down the line?" Vash hugs me close as hot water traces down his face, his fear making him shake as he chokes, "I'll never be strong enough in my mind. I'll never be enough for you, not for any reason. So why should I hope you'd ever accept such a thing from me?" My hand lifts up to touch over his heart in answer, my words making him halt as I whisper, "Because I feel the exact same way." Vash looks down to see my eyes open again, though they are still fogged over as he goes stock still. "How much of that did you hear?" I give a sigh to note, "Does it matter? It's clear you have something you wish to keep secret, at least until you are ready to share such with me or with another. But I can wait, Vash. I'll wait for as long as it takes." Vash gives a hard choke to hug me tight, my head against his shoulder as he sobs, "I- Megan- I- Oh Megan! I thought that- that-" I bring my arms up to lace around his neck, though my strength to do so is little. But he hugs me tight to his front as he shakes, my heart pressed close to his own as he cries. "I don't want to lose you! I've spent far too long being more alone than anyone! Yet the moment we met on the bus, everything changed! I don't ever want to go back to such emptiness! I'd die inside without you with me! I need you more than anything that I have known or felt in this existence! I'm nothing without you! Megan! My porcelin ballerina! Please! Don't ever leave my side, not after all the light you have brought to me!" My sigh is lost to his lips when I bring my head up, his sobbing washing his breath into my mouth as I tell him, "How fitting for you to say such, my tin soldier. In this we are exactly the same. My crimson bird, my steadfast tin soldier, my beloved Vash the Stampede. Only when you are with me does my soul find any semblance of peace." Vash goes stock still and he asks his question before he can stop himself. "Even when you're with Nicholas and not me?"

Vash claps a hand to his mouth once the words leave his lips and I give a tired sigh in answer. "Is that what you really want to know?" Vash gives a hard sigh in defeat. "A part of me does. I need to know that I matter. I want to matter most to you above all else. I shouldn't have to ask for such a thing. Not after all you've already given to me. And yet the question keeps drifting through me like poison." I give a breathless chuckle which makes him look down in question, and I say to him in warmth, "That's what it means to be human, my beloved. We are always second guessing everything, it is in our nature. Every individual doubts their judgement and their worth. It can either be to test our resolve or it can lead to weathering us down. You honestly think I don't question that exact same thing on a constant basis? I'm wondering why you and Nicholas and everyone else we know and call friend even put up with me to begin with! Yet for some reason, you actually enjoy me and my broken heart most of all! Don't think that doesn't astound me, because it does! Out of all the wretched pieces of myself I see in the mirror that I use to slice away at myself, you see worth and pricelessness in me to make you wish to keep me at any and all costs! What more do I need in proof, yet I still question the why every time!" I ask him sweetly, "Do you love me, Vash?" His answer is immediate. "Yes!" I smile at this and place my lips to his to whisper against them, "Then that is all I need." I give him a light kiss before going limp, my groan evident as I say, "You're calling him first thing in the morning to straighten this out... You know that right...?" Vash sighs to nod in agreement, hugging me for a moment before he picks me up. He moves us to the tub in the room to turn the taps on, and I note, "I'm guessing you decided to spoil me or something?" He nods to give me a sad smile and say, "When was the last time you actually got to really relax?" I tilt my head to the side to think and say, "Not since we found out I was expecting." Vash nods to then find my bath things as he pours in the epsom salts, and I flick a finger to my bag to bring out the towel and my swim suit as my clothes come unbuttoned under the direction of my magic. But Vash catches the swimsuit, making me give him a questioning look as he tells me, "You honestly going to wear this now?" I rub my eyes to realize what he means. "Point taken... Sue me... My brain is still fogged over..." His gaze is heated when my clothes come undone, and I know full well he'd rather join me in the tub than just place me in it. But his kiss to my lips is light and barely lasts a second. Then he lifts me up with ease and hugs me close, his head to mine to tell me. "I'll never want anything else than your happiness, Megan. The rest doesn't matter, as long as you and the twins are happy and safe. When all this is over, I hope we'll still be together." I nod as I lean my head into his, my words tired but full of love. "I want the same for you. For Nicholas and Abel as well. It's all I've ever wanted since this started. To find someone to love again and fight like Hell for someone real instead of a mere memory. But the fighting can wait until the morning. For now, let's just rest."

Vash nods to kiss me once more, his taste to me sweet and bright like honey as he gently sets me into the bath. I give a tired smile to wiggle my toes and say, "At least I can see these again." Vash laughs to get out my music player, the sound of a violin apparent as he stills. He looks at me as I give a long sigh, but I shake my head and tell him, "It's okay Vash. I like Lindsey Sterling, even though her given instrument is a bit depressing to me. It seems to fit her style of music if anything." Vash nods to get out my candles and a lighter, the scents of lemon and citrus mixing with vanilla and sage as he places them next to the tub on one side. I give a long sigh as the aroma drifts over me, my eyes closing as Vash reaches a hand to rub against my face. His fingers drift into my hair as I turn my head towards him, his gaze never leaving my face as he notes, "You still look half dead, my porceline ballerina." I open my eyes to meet his gaze, his sigh expected as he continues. "Megan. You didn't look that great the day we met on the bus. You were a little too thin in my book and the look in your eyes was numb. But now you're a practical ghost. I'd think you dead already if the Bond wasn't over me, and even still I worry constantly." I lean my head into his touch, his fingers tracing through my hair to the back of my head to pull me forwards a little. He places his forehead to mine, his eyes watering for the tears to ripple in the bath. But I place a sweet kiss to his lips and he gives a sigh for whole other reasons. "Vash, you look about as thin as a wet cat. So don't start with me. We've both been through the ringer on a constant basis. Yet we're still here. We've made it this far, my tin soldier. Don't lose heart now that we've made it to the home stretch." He nods to rub his nose to mine, then he's reaching down to grab what I think is my shampoo and conditioner. I dunk my head into the water automatically for him, but when I come back up he has a surprise for me.

I know leaving Wolfwood alone to face the Heartless of Chapel was a horrid mistake, I know full well what it means with every fiber of my being. Yet Tesis had played this move out perfectly, and Vash would die if I didn't stop the Hunter of the Dark from gutting him open. So I make my choice and fly as fast as I can to save Vash, feigning hope that Wolfwood read my letter about what I had foreseen in time to make that needed difference. But I already know deep down inside, regardless of my fleeting attempts at hope, I have already condemned him to die. I fly full tilt to where the Hunter of the Dark circles Vash like easy prey, his strength all but expended as I plummet towards him. I land in front of him and shield Vash from the Hunter of the Dark as it comes to tower over us, my armor ripping open from it's attack as I crouch over him and shout, "GHAH! Vash, NOW!" His magic washes over the Heartless in sheer power, the Holyga spell he casts blinding me completely as it rips the Hunter of the Dark to nothingness. My visor comes off as he catches my dead weight, the both of us huffing as he brings his arms around me. Vash can barely get any air, each breath making his frame shake as he notes, "Nice save... You all right...?" I shake my head to choke and tell him, "NO! Vash, we have to move! NOW!" Vash looks into my eyes, and his own go wide. "No, the Shingan! What-" Then we both feel it, the mortal blow going through Wolfwood as his pain explodes over us both. My air is cut short as Vash jerks underneath me. "No... No, no, no! NO!" I'm on my feet and running full tilt before he can follow, my wings coming out to have me fly directly to where Wolfwood is. I can feel the cold lacing over him, his steps heading straight for the church as I beg with all my heart that the inevitable isn't coming. Every breath Wolfwood takes is agony I share, every strained beat of his heart lacing numbness though my limbs as I zoom through the air to the church. I land and throw the doors open, his eyes meeting mine as I scream, "NICHOLAS!" His entire frame is shaking, the effort to stand just as strained as his breathing as he chokes, "Megan..." Then his eyes roll back and he starts to fall, and I bolt for him. I catch his frame in my waiting arms, my hands gripping his front as I shout, "No, Nicholas! Don't you dare do this to me! Please, hang on!" I start grabbing things out of my pockets to heal him, Potions and Pheonix Downs, a fairy in a bottle that I break open to have it lace over him, Elixers and all the magic I can muster. But none of them work, his blood pooling around us as I grip his front after the last bottle is emptied. "Oh no, please Lord Jesus no! It's not working, none of them are working! WHY ISN'T ANY OF THIS WORKING?! No, no, no! Nicholas! NICHOLAS! Don't stop breathing! Please, don't give up on me! PLEASE!"

His air barely comes to rattle in his lungs, the kiss of his heartbeat fading from my fingertips as Wolfwood tells me, "Sorry... should have listened... to you earlier..." I start screaming at him, all semblance of control over my emotions discarded as I pour all my magic into keeping him alive. "YOU'RE DAMNED RIGHT YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?! I GAVE YOU AMPLE WARNING WHAT WAS COMING, ALL OF IT WAS IN THE LETTER! DID YOU EVEN OPEN IT?! I WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN ON HOW TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE! YET YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE IT ON YOU! WHY DIDN'T YOU READ IT?! GOD DAMN IT ALL, WHY?!" Wolfwood flinches at this, "I did after... I got here... to the church... Megan... I didn't want... to admit that... you were going to... turn me down..." I go wide eyed at this to exclaim in horror, "...What?! That's what you thought was in the letter?! My rejection?! You spent your last night in this life thinking that I had cast you aside?!" Wolfwood chokes and tries to tell me, "Megan- stop! Don't-" I shake my head, my eyes streaming as I scream in anguish, "NO! WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK THAT?! WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE TO EVER MAKE YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU AREN'T CHERISHED WITH ALL OF MY HEART?! I LOVE YOU! I'VE LOVED YOU FOR THE ENTIRE TIME WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER! WHY ELSE WOULD I GIVE YOU THE BOND?! WHY ELSE WOULD I GIVE YOU ALL OF MYSELF WHEN WE MADE LOVE?! I MADE YOU MY FIRST LOVER FOR A REASON! I FREELY GAVE YOU THAT CLAIM OUT OF ALL THE LOVE I HAVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU! NICHOLAS, PLEASE! DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME LIKE DATA DID! PLEASE NICHOLAS, DON'T LET THIS MOMENT BE OUR LAST MEMORY! I'M BEGGING YOU, I HAVEN'T GIVEN YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE LOSING YOU ACCEPTABLE!" But he shakes his head as his air hitches. "Stop... you gave me... enough love... to save me... from my failings... GHAH!" His heart skips as he coughs up blood, my eyes going wide in terror as Wolfwood pants. "Your love... was more... than enough... for me... Megan... thank you... I love... you... Megan... I'll... always... love..." Then his frame goes limp as he falls into the black. His heart stutters to a stop in my chest as it's rhythmn halts beneath my fingers and I scream at him, "NO, NICHOLAS! NO!" My magic takes over after his heart gives out, my aura starting to smolder my frame as I keep him alive through sheer force of my will. He chokes in air again as I kneel over him, his surprise evident as I tremble at the burning over my senses. His hands twitch as I grit my teeth at the agony, his words begging me, "Augh... Megan... You-" I cut him off. "NO! NOT AGAIN! I WON'T GIVE YOU UP WITHOUT A DAMN FIGHT! I DON'T CARE WHAT THE SHINGAN SHOWED ME! I'LL CHANGE IT! I'LL SAVE YOU! I WON'T LOSE ANOTHER SOULMATE TO THE DARKNESS! I REFUSE TO LET YOU GO!" But his smile is one of defeat, his hands pressing over the ones I have over his heart. "No Megan... It's over... Megan please... let me go..." I shake my head, my eyes blinded from the red I'm crying. "I CAN'T! I WON'T! I REFUSE! IT'S NOT ENOUGH! I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES YOU, NICHOLAS! WHAT ABOUT MILLIE AND MERYLL?! WHAT ABOUT THE TWINS?! THE ORPHANS AT THE CHURCH?! WHAT ABOUT VASH?! WE LOVE YOU, ALL OF US! DON'T LEAVE US! DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!"

I bring my lips to his crimson stained mouth, my whisper just as desperate as I plead with all my heart and soul, "Stay with me. Linger with me, with us all who cherish you. Don't ascend to the Lord just yet. I'm begging you, don't leave me here to linger in the darkness without your heart and it's light." But his sigh barely warms my lips. "Oh Megan... you know... full well... it's time..." I choke and sob at this as Wolfwood continues. "It's not forever... I'll wait for you... on the other side... So please... Let me die..." But I freeze as I register something. "No, it doesn't have to be permanent, does it?" I look down at him and say, "Just because you die doesn't mean I can't bring you back after the fact. There's a loophole to use for such, if not several I might find to use. I CAN save you, it just might take a while to do so!" Wolfwood gets a puzzled look on his face, but I ask him, "Do you have faith in me, Nicholas?" He gives a breathless chuckle. "Always, my lover..." Then I nod, making a heart wrenching decision. "Then believe me when I promise you, I will bring you back! I'll find the loophole, I will make this right! I swear it on all that I am, mind, heart, body, and soul! I may let you die today, but I will bring you back to this life to give you a future! I give you my solemn oath, I will save you Nicholas! But for now..." I take one hand off his chest and hug his head to my heart, my sobs shaking my frame, "Ascend, my first lover. Go ahead, don't be afraid. Close your eyes, Nicholas. I'll be right here, so you may die in peace, and know this. I will love you always, with this shattered heart you hear that will herald you to your repose." His eyes are clouded, his hand gripping the hand I have over his heart. "Oh Megan... I'm so sorry... to leave you... like this... please... forgive me..." But I shake my head. "Don't apologize. Just rest. I love you, Nicholas... Goodbye, my beloved golden wolf..." He gives a nod as he leans into my frame, and I let my hold over him go after a moment of giving him this comfort. His eyes dialate as his body goes limp, his last breath a tired sigh as I rock us back and forth. The drumming against my fingers ceases, the last contraction of his heart sounding in my soul as the bell of the chapel rings out once in finality. In my grief I try to sing for him, but my words are choked and my voice breaks. I kiss his lips and shake all over, my own heart breaking as I close his sightless eyes. Then I tilt my head back and scream as my world shatters around me, my wings coming apart for the feathers to blacken and smolder onto the floor. My hand over his sternum sinks into his chest, my fingers touching the heart of the one I gave myself to in love and my need to feel whole in anothers comfort and light. His heart is still warm to my touch, but there is no soul nestled inside it's chambers any longer. The grim reaper laughs in my ears as I run my fingers over his heart, the warmth fading from his flesh as I choke and sob. "Nicholas, forgive me! I swear I never wanted to let you go! Not for any reason, it's why I was so hesitant to ask Vash for his full commitment! I may be in love with Vash, but that does not diminish the love in my heart I have for you! Please, forgive me! I wish with all my being that I had been able to change this! Nicholas! Forgive me! NICHOLAS!"

I go stock still as I hear running outside towards the steps to the church, knowing Vash is almost to us and I need to make something important for us both. I cast the last bit of my magic to make a crystal of last words, removing my hand from Wolfwood's chest with some of the blood from his heart nestled into my open palm. I cast the spell to crystalize it instantly, and it takes the shape of a cross to nestle in my hand with a glow of sunlit yellow hue. Vash makes it to the door heaving in air as he shakes, calling out to us both in terror, "WOLFWOOD! MEGAN!" He looks at me first, then to Wolfwood's lifeless body in my arms, and his heart breaks inside me. I choke on a sob as I tell him, "Vash... I'm so sorry... He's gone..." I hold out the crystal to him, my voice pleading as he takes a few steps forward. "All I could manage... was this much... I swear I tried... But nothing worked... I am so sorry beloved..." Vash kneels down to lace his fingers in mine, coming behind me to hold me tight. His hands break my grip on Wolfwood, lacing me away from him as I sob and wail in agony. But I break out of his hold, my hands in my hair as I come undone and my anguish shatters me. Actual cracks snake over my frame, the sound of glass breaking apparent as I flinch and tremble as I back away from them both. "No stop, the backlash! I'll hurt you if you keep holding me! I'm sorry, I'M SO SORRY!" I run into the altar and collapse to the ground, my arms coming around my knees as I shake all over. "Ah! Oh it burns, this scalding, this shattering! AH! He's gone, he's dead! AUGH!" I choke and shiver as Vash looks down, his own air hitching as he come to his knees in front of his best friend in all the world. His hands grip Wolfwood by the shoulders, bringing him to his frame as he sobs. "No... Wolfwood... NICHOLAS! NO!" He shakes as he cries, every tear piercing me with sorrow as I share in the agony of my beloved crimson bird with eyes squeezed shut. The crystal in my hand comes alive at my misery, lacing the last thoughts and feelings that Wolfwood had for me into my mind and my heart. Much of it is thanks for all I gave him and the happiness I brought into his life. He tells me he loves me and he regrets the sadness his loss will bring to me and Vash as well. His one apology is in not reading my letter in time, and how he'd wished I'd have confided in them this outcome. He laments over the fact I'd known this would happen for months, yet shouldered the burden alone like always. But much of his message is of gratitude and unabiding love, with a final good bye to us both before his last kiss to me brushes over my lips.

I shudder as his scent of sweet brandy kisses my soul, and then the crystal goes silent as I grip it tight. I look up to see Vash and his evident pain, clutching Wolfwood to his heart as he cries. I look at the blood stained and lifeless body of our Tovaras, and my heart shatters completely. My skin cracks like porcelin and freely bleeds, the breaking of my heart breaking my body in turn. I grit my teeth at the onslaught, forcing myself to stay silent so Vash can have his time saying goodbye to his brother in all but blood. I grip my legs to my frame as I choke, every piece of my being in agony as I twitch and shudder against the altar. But I dare not utter even a whimper, though my pain is all consuming. I try so hard to keep myself quiet as the minutes tick by, my one thought to let my two Tovaras have this moment to themselves. But then I drop the crystal in my writhing, it's keening against floor making Vash look up to me. His eyes go wide as he watches me spasm in place, but I hold up a hand to tell him, "NO! I can't take this moment of farewell away from you, I- AUGH!" I jerk and my entire front cracks open, then I'm on the floor with Vash cradling my head. "No, Megan! Oh God, this pain inside, I thought it was just mine! But it's yours! You- you don't have anything left to keep yourself together, do you?! You burned yourself out completely, didn't you?!" My air comes in hard drags as my chest heaves, the pain of our loss and my regret unbearable as I tremble in his hold. "I did, but there is a way to fix this! You can- GHA!" Vash looks down as I jerk again in his arms, the cracks along my chest revealing my insides as my lungs strain and my heart pumps searing agony through me. His eyes go wide in horror as I tremble and writhe, my agony apparent as my heart skips a few times as he watches. "No- NO! Megan! What do I do?! Please, don't tell I have to lose you both!" I take one shaking hand and clutch his fingers, bringing his hand inside me to place over my stuttering heart. His fingers tremble against the beating in my chest, the look in his eyes unreadable to my red stained vision as I choke, "Vash! Fix this shattering, give to me what I need most of all!" My eyes go half closed as he asks me, "Wait Megan, what are you saying?!" I cough as my heart nearly gives out, it's chambers quivering to tremble uselessly in my chest as my magic drains away and my energy bottoms out. Vash panics as he laments, "God no! Your heart! Your heart is stopping! What do I do?! Tell me, please! WHAT MUST I DO TO KEEP YOUR HEART BEATING IN MY HAND?!" I grip his wrist as I answer, my mind reaching for him when my air doesn't come. _Vash... Give me your love...Hold nothing back... Make me yours..._

His arm comes under me to lift me into his front, his hand holding my heart in a gentle grip as Vash casts his magic. The scent of wildflowers surrounds us, my hair lifting up at the volume of power as he holds me close and prays. The power of his magic pours into my frame in copious amounts, the green of my eyes being lost to the red of his aura as my body gives out in his hold for my heart to tremble and cease it's movement in his hand. My eyes roll back as his love and his power fills every piece of my being, my soul trembling as his fingers run over my heart to squeeze the chambers and keep life flowing through my broken body. His mouth covers mine to breathe his spell into me, his hold on my heart tighting over it to massage it's chambers into contracting properly. The hold Vash has over me never wavers, his fingers massaging my heart to keep me with him. Vash gazes into my face as he begs me with his mental pleading. _No Megan! Don't leave me! I'll give you whatever you want! Please stay with me! I have fallen in love with you and all that I have in you! Live for me, breathe for me, let your heart at last beat for my own! I beg for you to be mine, my beloved child of light! I'll gladly give you my own heart to replace this broken piece of you I caress in my fingers! Please, my porcelin ballerina! Stay here and dance with your tin soldier! I'll never let your heart stop beating, it's symphony is my greatest joy, it's light is my guiding star in the heavens! I beg of you, give me all of yourself, and you may have all of me in exchange!_ I shiver as his magic laces through us, it's potency awakening my own magic and renewing what I expended to return life to my broken frame. His fingers meld into my heart and run through my very soul in all the love and magic he has to give, my light and life flaring under his touch. My heart beats of it own accord once his spell takes effect, it's pace lacing his healing through my blood and my body in a fierce and thunderous pace against the tips of his fingers and the palm of his hand. Vash whispers over my lips as I take a breath of ragged air filled with his aura to beg me, "I know I shouldn't ask you this now. Not after losing Nicholas. But I need you to be mine. Megan, my child of light, I beg of you with all I can give. Marry me, be my bride and make me yours in every way." My eyes open fully to gaze into his, and my answer is immediate. "...Yes!" His magic roars through us both, the light of it blinding as my entire frame is encased in his love. Vash lets go of my heart as my front closes, his hands coming around to hug me to him. My own magic awakens as his strength pours over me, the auras mixing together to wash us in light. I take my hands and bring them to his neck, leaning forward to kiss him back as he grips me tight. His strength floods my body in warmth, his kiss full of love as his magic replenishes my own completely. He holds nothing back in making me whole as we kiss for what feels like forever, then he gives a half sigh as he falls over unconscious. I catch him in my arms to hug him tight as I tell him, "That is exactly what I needed, beloved. Your commitment to loving me always. I swear to you I will give you all of myself in return, nothing will be hidden from you any longer. I am yours to marry and cherish, you have my solemn vow, my beloved tin soldier."

I fall over next to him to shiver and hug him tight, my mind fogging over as I realize what we've just promised each other. Then I'm up on my feet and cutting out a door for us all to Hollow Bastion. I levitate them both off the floor of the church, bringing us to the Grand Hall where the rest of my dead loved ones rest. I lay Vash in the corner gently, then I'm laying Wolfwood into the casket I had in the center of the room, activating the magic inside to halt his time and preserve him from further decay. I summon my mirror into my hand to call Merlin, and he answers immediately, "Megan! I heard you scream! What has happened, my daughter?" I lace the top of the casket on and look at my Abishal. "Merlin, Nicholas has fallen as my Shingan predicted." Merlin jerks at this sorrowful news, but I keep going. "Abishal. What ways are there to return a soul to a broken body once the soul has fled? Can such be done, walk me through the possibilities, my teacher." He goes stock still to gape at me. "Megan?! What did you-" I cut him off and exclaim with vehemence, "ABISHAL! Walk me through possibilities! What are the ways to heal a dead body to return a soul to it's frame?" Merlin shakes his head at me in bewilderment, completely baffled as he exclaims in turn, "Dear Lord! You are most definitely a child of light of you mean to do such a miracle! Yes it can be done, there are multiple theories and a few actual spells." He walks me through different possibilities, each one sounding either too costly or not workable as the minutes tick into hours. But I keep nodding to lace through all he can tell me, even suggesting a few myself to have him shoot them down with reasoning and his vast knowledge of magic. By the time we've gone through them all, my head is resting on the casket staring down at the face of my dead love in hopelessness. "No, there's nothing left after all this?! So the only ones I can use successfully are the Stigmata or something just as damning?!" Merlin flinches at the mention of that old spell to choke out, "You would enact the Martyrs Stigmata Pact written in the Scroll of Forlorn Hopes?! That is forbidden black magic, Megan! It would rip you to pieces afterwards from all the wounds you've taken in your life, it doesn't pick and chose them! All of them would reopen, there'd be nothing left of you to even bury!" I look up at him to say in a flat voice, "But it works. Giving your own body and soul for the punishment of the dead one to restore their life and body in exchange. And I know full well what would happen, it would be exactly like the Last Run a Plant goes through at the end of it's lifespan. I'd hemmorage to death in seconds rather than minutes if I did that, and Vash would die of grief after watching. Vash and the rest of you would never forgive me, but it would work. You forget Merlin, I have gone through this loss far too often to even dare count the souls I've buried. I refuse to let this stand. My life is meaningless without making this right. I'll never be whole until I make him living and breathing like he was before. Hence why I didn't turn him into a vampire, yet. But I will do so if I get desperate enough. Is there anything, any form of hope, that you can give me to track down and use?" Merlin looks at my eyes and goes stock still in realization, his words absolute in their utterance to note without halt, "So this is your price of your soul, my daughter? You would throw all of your being, all of it, to the darkness in order to return one who would never forgive the sacrifice?" I nod to state, "Yes Merlin! I will sell myself to the reaper like a piece of meat if that's what it takes! So if you really don't want me to throw myself completely into the darkness, wrack that hat you have on and THINK!" But it is another voice that answers. "So brash, my apprentice. So very brash of you, much like always."

I don't even blink as Master Yen Sid appears next to Merlin, his robes rustling as he puts a hand on Merlin's shoulder. I look at Merlin to note, "The word 'tattletale' comes to mind, Abishal." I look at Master Yen Sid and tell him dead pan, "Master, the only words I will accept are ones that help me work this out to bring Nicholas back to me. So don't bother scolding me, or I'll crush my mirror before the sentence is finished." He nods to tell me, "I know Megan, and I have been looking for other options as you and Merlin have been discussing. The stars are unclear to my readings, they do not show me how to work a specific spell for this. There is but one thing I could find that might lead you to such a miracle." I go dead still, not even daring to breathe as he tells me, "There are reports that the real Ansem the Wise has written while wandering the Realm In Between. These Secret Reports are said to have much insight into the ways of light and darkness and the power that dwells within the heart. What few pages have been found have notes on what happened to Sora with the Keyblade of Peoples Hearts and how it was used." I nod as I follow his train of thought. "How it freed the hearts of others and released the light within. Continue." He nods to continue, "That light within ones heart can be broken apart and then be made whole, restoring the heart that was shattered as it did with Ventas." I freeze as I process this bit of information. "Such power gifted by even a single shard could be crutial." Merlin nods to say, "True enough, but there is also great risk. And it would do no good to restore a heart and soul to a broken body." I tell them both automatically, "I can fix that part easily. Vash and I have enough power and control to heal Nicholas enough to keep life in his body. It's restoring his soul afterwards I'm finding difficulty acheiving, plus we have to beat Knives first or Vash won't have the freedom of spirit to pull this off. He will not be able to reach full potential as long as Knives is a threat. So we make the plan, get this fight on the Badlands finished, then I can bring back Nicholas to trounce Tesis with all the power I can muster." Master Yen Sid nods to tell me, "It's rumored the Secret Reports were in possesion of Organization 13, and some of them claimed to have had them confiscated for a short time by the Orgulho Magisters." I frown to state, "So it's possible the Gun Ho Guns have knowledge of them, if Legato doesn't have them on him personally. Right, this might be the best option out of the ones I can pursue. Which reminds me, I'm going to have to have a pow wow session with sempai. There's a few jutsus he might know to help on this, if anything. Plus I have to see how the twins are." Merlin smiles and asks me, "Didn't you just check in on them yesterday?" I snort and exclaim, "Sue me! I'm going to work on this angle now. Thank you both for this, I'll stay in touch." The mirror fades as I look down at Wolfwood, and my eyes burn to drip red onto the casket as I call Jiraiya. He answers immediately to laugh, "Didn't you just call to check on them, trouble maker? The twins are fine, Megan. Lee and Naruto are spoiling them rotten." But he notes my silence and I look up for him to see my face. His eyes go wide at my crimson tears. "Daughter?" I choke and then point the mirror to show him the casket.

I can hear Jiraiya hit the floor as he chokes out, "Oh no... no..." I bring the mirror back to face me, my words full of remorse. "Yes... Your death is not the only one that was foretold to me with my Shingan, sempai..." Jiraiya jerks at this, his grief and anger apparent as he exclaims, "SHIT! So this is why you gave yourself to him that night! You believed you'd lose them both! Megan, please tell me you haven't given up!" I steel myself to tell him, "I gave everything I had to keep his soul in his flesh, but it all came to naught regardless. But I might have a way to save him yet after the fact." Jiraiya looks up at this, seeing the fierce determination in my eyes and he listens with his full attention as I state, "I am not a deity, I have little power and ability to make the impossible doable anymore. Therefore, I need to search for working skills and abilities to heighten my chances at pulling off such a feat as this. Jiraiya, I need your knowledge of what can be done by those who are ninjas of great renown. What jutsus are there that might be workable to restore a soul to a body?" He goes ram rod straight to stutter and tell me, "You would- You- The ones I know of that we might use are forbidden!" I glare at him. "I said any workable jutsus, Jiraiya! I can flex things to change the process a little in order to find a reasonable loophole! I'm looking for any and all options, I'm looking for hope in whatever place it might linger! So either provide me with such or just crush your mirror now! Since the only spell I know that would work and heal him completely means the end of the caster! You'd never live through watching what would happen if I do use it, such grief is fatal poison to be consumed in a viewing of such slaughter!" Jiraiya glares right back at me to demand, "Just what the Hell would you have to go through?!" I tell him, "The Martyrs Stigmata Pact from the Scroll of Forlorn Hopes. I heal his body and restore his soul, and my own body pays the price of his injuries and the cost of the spell itself. Every wound I have ever suffered would be opened all at once as payment. I'd be completely ripped to shreds, so unless you have something better for me to try, go and buy a prayer tablet for me once I finish with Knives and when Tesis is destroyed!" He jerks at this to state, "Like Vash or I would-" I cut him off and tell him, "Vash won't have a choice! I'll tie him up and dump him right next to you in the dungeons below Hollow Bastion if I have to! I'm bringing Nicholas back, I'm not giving him up without giving everything I have in order to save him! So you can either help me or stay out of my way! If need be, I will go directly to the Land of Sound and lay this body at Orochimaru's feet to beg him for his help!" Jiraiya seethes at me with barely contained fury, "You would really go that far, Megan?! You'd openly lay yourself before that viper to let him have his way with you in the bargain?!" I scream at him as I lose it to exclaim, "YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS I WOULD!" Jiraiya goes bug eyed at this, my entire frame smoldering in fury as I openly fume at the top of my lungs. "I'LL SELL MY REMNANTS OF A SOUL TO HIM OR ANY OTHER FUCKING DEMON SPAWN IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES! I'VE HAD IT WITH LETTING ALL OF YOU LAY YOUR LIVES DOWN AND WATCHING YOU ALL LOSE THEM IN TURN! I'M FUCKING SICK OF WATCHING WHAT HAPPENED TO DATA HAPPEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I WON'T LOSE THE ONES THAT MADE HIS PASSING BEARABLE AND GAVE ME MY LIFE BACK! YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL NOT LET THIS SACRILIDGE TO ALL THAT I LOVE AND HOLD PRICELESS STAND! YOU ALL ARE MINE TO LOVE AND KEEP, DEATH CAN GO SOD IT'S REAPING SCYTHE, I WON'T ALLOW THIS TO BE PERMANENT FOR ANY REASON IN EXISTENCE!" I choke and pant as Jiraiya flinches while I continue, "I have a few scraps of information I may yet follow to a workable solution. But I'm looking for any and every possibility, even the ones that most wouldn't dare think to use. I will use what I can find to make an acceptable spell or method to restore his body and make Wolfwood whole again, one that will give what outcome I seek. I don't plan to use any dark or forbidden techniques, but I can use their basic principles to glean ways around the damning elements. No body swapping, no clones or puppets or anything that means I must settle for less than what I have lost or compromise my soul in the bargain. The only life I plan to gamble is my own, as it should be for fixing this mistake I myself made." Jiraiya frowns and reminds me, "But Megan. You said the Shingan is something you have no control over. That you cannot change the things shown to you." I grit my teeth and state with disgust, "That's such pacifistic hypocricy, I hate that I ever said such! There's is always a way, and I will not just meekly roll over when I can give all I am to changing it! That goes for you as well, Jiraiya!" His eyes go wide as I hold his gaze. "Sempai. I hate that I ever considered letting you die when I might salvage you. So long as I live, I will never let any of you be lost. You are mine to keep safe. All I ask of you and the others is to stand with me to find the way to make such possible. Will you do this for me? Will you help me find a way to make a miracle? Please Jiraiya, you don't want me to give up hope! So don't ask me to turn around and give up one who IS my hope! Will you help me, father of my heart and spirit?"

Jiraiya closes his eyes as I take drags of air, his nod of agreement apparent. "Yes, daughter. I will have Tsunade look over all we have in the Leaf to find some way to help you. Whether it be boosting your own power or some other workable way. Just promise me this, don't ruin yourself trying to do what we may find to be impossible." I choke at this idea to say, "I won't accept this as impossible. I have a body this time to return life to. So long as I still have his flesh, I can salvage his soul to return to his frame after healing the damage that killed him. I already halted his time so his body will not be ravaged, I'll wind the clock backwards if I have to in order to make this work! It would be just as bad as the Stigmata, but it would be theoretically possible." Jiraiya shakes his head. "Don't do anything until I have gone through what we have here, then. Can you have that kind of patience for me at least?" I look down at this to Wolfwood's lifeless face, nodding to say, "It will not be pleasant, but I can wait if it means we find a way to fix this. You have my word, I will not act upon this need until I have settled things with Knives and hopefully Tesis as well. But once their threats are reasonably dealt with, I give no promises to holding to patience. Especially if the leads Master Yen Sid gave to me pan out." Jiraiya nods to tell me, "Acceptable, Megan. But look up at me, trouble maker." I bring my gaze back to the mirror, and his eyes water as he tells me, "I am sorry, my daughter. But please, for the sake of my heart and your love for us all, do not throw yourself away to cause the same misery Jayden did unto you." I jerk at this request, nodding in understanding. My eyes close as I realize that is exactly what I'd be doing. "Oh Lord, you're right. I didn't even think of that. It never even crossed my mind. You are a wise sage after all, sempai. Perhaps... perhaps this is the reason why he made such a damning choice that day... Giving all to protect all that you hold dear and would never accept losing for any reason... It makes sense to me, I see why he would do it... If this was what he was thinking and feeling..." My eyes go unfocused as I let my mind wander over this notion. "It would be so like you... To have done so not just out of duty and service... You would have done it to protect the innocent... But it makes perfect sense for you to ensure all whom you loved lived to see tomorrow... Regardless if you were there to share in the coming dawn... Granted, such is still bitter poison to me... But it makes it easier to understand and come to terms with it on some level... Thank you sempai, I have waited a long time to be brought to this truth..." He nods and tells me, "I will find Tsunade right now! Go and tend to your search. But do know you will have to grieve this loss, regardless if you find the miracle you seek. You will have to let it work through you in order to overcome it's hardship, as such will bring to all who love him in turn." I look to Vash at this statement, my fists clenching as I nod in agreement. "Yes, you're right. Which is going to involve lots of shouting and heated words of half truths when Vash works this out of his system along with me. But I can do anything if it means helping him, so I should get hopping. Go with my love, sempai." Jiraiya nods before the mirror reverts back to normal, then I make one last call to my ebony angel.

Abel answers right away, his words whispered in grief as he asks me, "Tovaras? I heard your cry. What has happened?" I look down at my mirror, Father Abel Nightroad gazing at me with his beautiful blue gray eyes. "Abel... I failed... again... I... I failed..." He looks at me as I float the mirror in front of me, twisting my hand to show him all of my frame and the casket. His eyes go wide in horror, tears blurring the light of his vision as he laments, "Wolfwood... Oh Lord no... Megan... Where is Vash?!" I point my thumb behind me. "Unconscious and not moving for the for see able future if I can help it. Losing Nicholas shattered both my heart and my entire frame after I fueled everything I could use to save him. But it wasn't enough, and Vash had to give most of his magic to put me back together for me to keep ticking. But I'm not going to wallow this time, Tovaras. I plan to fight back!" Abel gives me a quizzical look and I tell him, "Unlike the last few times I faced this loss, I have his body. As such, I will scour every available avenue to fix this. I am going to bring him back, Abel. I will mend his body and return his soul to this life, no matter what. But I will need copious amounts of prayer for the undertaking, and if need be I will ask you for one thing to give me hope." Abel realizes where I'm going with this to exclaim, "The Kudlak Bacillus... You would go that far..." I glare at him to state, "Yes! Methuselah are just another form of humanity, but with more stamina and durability. I'm sure Vash and Nicholas would fume to no end if I did such, but it's better than just letting him stay dead. I'm not turning him into a vampire like Alucard, I'd rather he never go through such a thing. Or would you rather I offer myself as a scapegoat to the angel of death in exchange for him, Abel?" Abel jerks at the idea and I say, "Yeah. Those are the few options I have at the moment. But I have a few leads I am going to hunt down with all due haste. I just needed to know... Though I hate to ask such a thing from you..." Abel grits his teeth to note, "Of course you'd do so. He is your bondmate and means just as much to you as Vash or myself. But the chances of it working aren't good, the few that were able to transition without significant risk of death were from the Mars colony. It may not take, or it might work only to kill him moments later." I lower my head as he continues, "I'm sorry Tovaras, but I will not give you such a thing when you are in such a darkened place." I nod in understanding. "Fine, I know full well I'm not thinking on all my working brain matter right now. And I have time enough to explore other viable options. I froze his time so that his body won't be ravaged. Hence the special container. But if I find no other way, I will be asking you again for what little hope you might provide to bring him back."

Abel frowns at this news, but nods anyways. "I don't expect my answer to change, but at least you're willing to halt your need to demand such of me like you usually would. But I will keep you in my prayers, Tovaras. Do you need me to come to where you are?" I shake my head. "Not yet. If anything, I'd send you to Konoha to be with the twins. It would seem Alissa refuses to give up that black feather we made into a charm for her, it's all she really seems to care to fuss over. Kaitlynn tried to take it from her, and Alissa actually fought back to keep it. My no fuss, no trouble Alissa, started kicking and punching her older and more dominant sister to keep what you gave her. I was stunned speechless." Abel goes wide eyed as he exclaims, "You're kidding?! She's that attached to it?!" I nod and smile at him. "She refuses to ever let it go, even I can't pry it out of her grip. Plus, you're the only one she will openly laugh for. Vash and I can get a smile every now and again, but you are the only one to make her laugh, Abel. Which frustrates Naruto to no end, he's been trying to get her to laugh at him ever since she did so for you." Abel smiles to note in relief, "So they are doing all right?" I nod. "Yes, Lee and Naruto have them at the moment, with Hinata making sure everything is fine as the level headed one of the three of them." I look at the casket, and my hand drifts over the surface as red blurs my vision of Wolfwood's face. My fingers press onto the top of the casket, drifting through it to lace my fingertips through his hair as Abel watches with grief in his eyes. "I can't let this be permanent, Abel. I just can't, I don't have the heart to leave him like this. It would ruin Vash as well as myself. I'll never forgive myself if I don't try to bring him back to us. I gave up on Data before he even left the ship to go off and die. I didn't even lift a finger to stop him, and I have had nothing but regret since. I won't do that, not for Nicholas, not for Vash, and not for myself. I must make this right, or I will carry this sin well past my own end. I have to try, I have to if I'm going to be able to live with myself. I know you have this same feeling inside of your own heart, you know what this kind of pain does to ones soul." Abel frowns at me, and I lift my gaze to his eyes. "I speak of your lover, Lillith Sahl." His eyes go as wide as allowed, his entire frame shaking as I hold his gaze. "I- You- How?!" I point at my eyes. "How do you think Abel? How many times have you seen me keep my eyes closed when you or another person touches me?" Abel goes ram rod straight to state, "A lot actually, at least that I've noticed. Are you telling me you do that so no one notes the silver of the Shingan in your eyes?" I nod and add, "Vash and Nicholas caught on after I refused to open my eyes during a longer vision. It's like a loose blindfold that I can't tighten enough to stay on, I can only try to swivel my head about to get a basic idea of something amongst the tirade that plays about me." Abel gives a long sigh. "I'm surprised you haven't gouged your eyes out yet." I scoff at this idea to tell him, "The Shingan works regardless if my eyes work or not, it plays in my head like a nightmare, Abel. But this bad dream will be made into a happy ending. I will accept nothing less for my Tovaras, you included." Abel tilts his head and I tell him with all the love I have for him. "I'd be doing the same for you if you were the one laying here in this place of repose, Abel. I don't want to lose you either, so for my peace of mind and heart, be extra careful with whatever it is you're doing. Okay?" He gives me a sad smile, nodding in agreement. "All right, I can do that just fine. I was actually going to go and see Ester." I tell him, "Would you go with her to request of Alex a time of prayer? I'm thinking Vash and I are going to have a rather hard time with this." Abel nods. "Of course, I can do that for you. Lady Caterina might have a few words to lace into me for doing such. But once she knows why, she'll be just as supportive as the rest of us." I give a tired smile at him. "Thanks, I'll keep you in the loop as I figure things out. My heart embraces you, Abel." Abel bows his head to me, his love for me evident as he tells me in turn, "My prayers are with you, my Tovaras." Then his image in my mirror is gone, and I'm left looking at my reflection.

His arms crush me to his frame, but his anger has an even greater hold on us both. "Failed? FAILED?! You failed to do what, exactly?! Explain this concept to me, Megan! How did you fail us when it was my brother and his cohorts that did this?! How is this your fault that Nicholas ran off without us because of what I told him earlier?! Why would you dare blame yourself when I'm the one who failed?! None of this is your fault or your responsibility!" I shake my head as I say, "No, Vash. Wait, stop. Don't-" But his malice drips from every word as he seethes, "I was the one who forced Nicholas to leave at gunpoint no less! I was the one who kept you from going to check on him later that night out of anger! I openly made him go off on his own without our help to face the creature that took him from us! This loss of our Tovaras is a result of my actions and sins! Not yours, the blame is mine!" I go wide eyed to see the look on his face, all the hate and anger swirling in the green depths of his eyes. Before Vash can go any further I grip his hand tight to activate the crystal for him, the yellow lacing into his eyes as I command him, "Stop. Listen. Then judge the sinner among us." The message plays only for Vash, wrapping him with the last words Wolfwood had left to give to him as the crystal shines in our grip. Until the glow dissipates and Vash locks his eyes on mine. "...You knew?! You- you knew this would happen?!" I nod at this to tell him, "Yes, the Shingan showed me after the Fifth Moon. This is what I was hiding from you and trying to change. So how am I any less guilty for not saving him? I've known all the while, yet here we stand with nothing to show for it save a broken shell of someone whom we both love! SO TELL ME AGAIN, HOW IS THIS NOT MY FAULT?!" I tremble in his grip as I choke and grieve inside at my failure, trying very hard to keep my emotions in check so as not to use my anger on him. But then Vash lets me go, shoving me away from him as he shouts at me with all the fury he has. "How could you be so foolish?! All this time, and yet you said nothing! Absolutely nothing, when you had all of us to ask for help! Did it ever occur to you that having us help you might have made all the difference?! Damn it all, Megan! Why didn't you say anything until it was far too late?!" I freeze, my eyes as wide as allowed as his anger and heartache rips my very soul asunder with his words. "You've had all this time, all of our friends and allies on multiple worlds, every possible resource to use, yet you did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?! Tell me the truth of it now, did you even love Nicholas enough to really try saving him?! Or did you just accept his death and it's misery to us all like when Data chose to follow his duty over yourself?!"

My eyes dialate to go completely unfocused the exact same time Vash claps a hand over his mouth. I slowly take a step away from him, my hands reaching up to grip tight over my heart as he whispers, "...Oh God... No! Megan! I- I didn't-" I shake my head without looking at him, my voice flat and empty as I say, "No... You meant every breath you used in utterance... Out of all the sins I carry... you use what has... the most damning hold over me... You drove that dagger home well... It's twisting in my ruined heart is evident... I have not felt such a death of spirit... since Data's end...!" I take another step back and my own words are just as damning in their truth. "Congratulations Vash... You've finally found a way to ruin me... with the exact same pain... that Data caused me... That my light might perish... from such piercing twice... It seems such an end is fitting... This loss of worth and trust... from my beloved... It's the best way... to send me into the darkness... that I deem to call Hell... Yet your harm to me... it's so much worse... than what Data... could have ever accomplished..." I stumble as I take another step back, my eyes glazing over as I tell him with half sentences, "But such fate... My own making... Won't blame you... Deserved every word... My just reward... Won't hold against you... For voicing truth... We both know... Forget me... and my stained offerings... Have no worth... Never did... No more harm... To you or... anyone else... I promise... to fade and die... In penance for... my sin of... paultry existence..." His eyes are as wide as allowed as Vash listens to my broken words, his hands trembling to reach out to me as my soul leaks from my being while I still breathe. I turn to walk away from him, then I fall as my heart shatters. My soul is cast into the darkness to lace nothingness over my being, each beat of my heart going numb and barren of light. Vash catches me before I fall completely to the ground, but my frame lays lifeless in his arms as he screams muted words to my hearing. My eyes stay unfocused as he shakes me and shouts at me in vehemence. His eyes are full of tears as he laces his hands over me, begging and pleading for my forgiveness. But I lay in his hold like a real percelin doll, my air barely stirring as my body stays limp. Then Vash presses my head to his heart as he trembles, his mind reaching out to mine in desperation. _MEGAN! OH GOD, NO! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! PLEASE DON'T THINK THIS WAS YOUR FAULT! PLEASE DON'T BLAME YOURSELF FOR THIS LOSS! OH LORD, NO! THIS EMPTINESS INSIDE! I CAN'T FEEL YOUR LIGHT ANYMORE! I CAN'T FIND YOU! IT'S ALL BLACK INSIDE OF YOU! WHERE ARE YOU, MY CHILD OF LIGHT?! PLEASE NO! COME BACK TO ME, MEGAN! PLEASE! OH LORD NO! MEGAN, YOUR HEART! IT'S PRACTICALLY DEAD! JUST WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAVE I DONE?!_ His arms crush me to his frame, the pounding of his heart filling my ears as he begs and pleads for my very soul. _I AM SO SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE SAID SUCH A THING, TO YOU OF ALL PEOPLE! HOW DO I MAKE THIS RIGHT?! OH LORD, I'M BEGGING YOU! WHAT MUST I DO TO HEAL WHAT I HAVE BROKEN INSIDE THIS WOMAN I LOVE?! PLEASE GOD, GIVE ME WHAT I NEED TO FIX THIS! I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES! JUST DON'T LET HER LOSE WHAT LIGHT SHE HAS LEFT! I LOVE HER SO MUCH! YET I'VE RUINED HER SPIRIT IN ONE SWIFT STROKE OF ANGER! TELL ME LORD, WHAT CAN FIX THIS HEART THAT I HAVE SHATTERED WITH SUCH CRUELTY?! PLEASE LORD, I'M BEGGING YOU! GIVE HER BACK TO ME! PLEASE!_

Vash cradles me close as his tears land on my face, the taste dripping down into my slightly open mouth. He sobs and runs a hand through my hair, the other gripping my front over my heart that has gone black and barren of light. His fingers delve into my chest to hold my heart, the chambers numb as he grips tight to my core. Vash places his lips to mine in aching love, his fingers running over the feathered pace in his hand with his thumb pressed into where my septum separates the chambers. But this time there is no response to his touch, my heart lacing cold ice through my sightless frame as he goes stock still. "No... It's not working...?! But this always works! She always answers to this act of love! NO! MEGAN! PLEASE! NO!" Vash runs his fingers over my heart again, knowing full well that such a touch is what I cherish most of all from his gifts of love to me. But there is no response to his gesture, the pace against his fingers ticking in my chest like a wind up clock without any feeling. His eyes go wide as he trembles all over in horror, then he sobs in defeat to hug me tight with his free hand. "No! Please no! NO!Megan! She's gone! This- this body is nothing more- Nothing more than a hollowed out shell! What have I done to you?! My porcelin ballerina, I've shattered you beyond repair!" He grips my frame tight to feel my body is no longer warm and full of life, choking and sobbing to state in grief, "She's just as hollow and cold inside as Nicholas! Even the pace against my fingers is empty! God damn me for this! I might as well have ripped this shattered heart from her chest! Damn it all! It would have been better if I had! This is unforgivable! Megan! I've condemned you to the darkness! This heart I love has perished from my evident harm! I've slain your very soul! It's all in ruins! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT!" His entire frame shakes as he laments, "Why?! Why would I dare do such a thing to you?! I've always known that such agony would bring you spiraling down into Hell! Yet I didn't even hesitate to run your heart through with such words of poison! Oh Megan!" Vash kisses my lips to place his head to mine, begging with every aching breath, "Come back to me! Please! I love you! Please Lord, bring her back to me! Give her what she needs to rise above this shattering! I don't have what it takes to make up for my sins! So please Lord Jesus, give her what I have failed to provide! Please Lord, make her whole again! Please!" Vash hugs me close as he rocks back and forth with me in his arms, his sorrow and guilt drowning him as he places a kiss to my head and sobs. His grief consumes him as he hugs me close, his own darkness lacing over his heart as he laments in defeat, "Who am I kidding?! She's gone! I've killed her in every meaningful way! Her body will give out long before I could ever make this right! I've murderer my child of light! It really would have been better for you to have died with Nicholas at the church! I'm sorry, my beloved! I'm so very sorry! Never before have I held such regret in my soul, if there is such a thing inside of me now! I wish you'd never met me! The joy and love you gave in abundance was never worth this!" His fingers carress the empty heart in his hold, and his misery engulfs him as he whispers, "I love you with all my heart, and yet I've ruined yours. I'll never forgive myself for this. I hope and pray I die a horrid death for this sin. Or for me to live forever in this damned existence here without you as my punishment. I know full well, I've lost you. I never deserved you to begin with, if this is all I can give." His kiss to my lips is one of defeat as his own heart crumbles, his words aching with sorrow and hopelessness as he sobs, "Oh Megan. Such a beautiful soul, such a love that you gave to me. You were my salvation, you gave me a sunrise when I had long forgotten the sight of the dawn. I'll always love you for what you gave to me in abundance. May the Lord place you in his keeping at last. If I have to use the knife you gave me once all is settled, then I'll release this heart and end this miserable existence that mocks what life you once held. I have no right to hold you or your love for a moment longer. I was a fool to ever believe or hope that this tin soldier could ever protect a porcelin ballerina from such crushing harm." His air cuts out as his hand comes up from inside my frame to close my sightless eyes. Then he tilts his head back and screams, the sound echoing over the grove in surrender as he gives me in offering to the Lord's care in his soul. Though his hold on my body does not relent, he abandons all that is left of his hope and whispers, "Megan. My heart shall now die, as is my punishment for killing yours. I have nothing of worth left to give. Except farewell. Oh God, take her now. I give her back to you. I lay claim to this woman no longer. Take her and leave me to wander in my well deserved Hell. May the Lord never cast his gaze upon me again. No one can forgive... such a sin as this... I have slain... the very heart... I swore on my soul... I would protect..."

Though I am not sure how the Lord does so, ever so slowly, my light returns to renew my soul and bring hope to he that is my cherished and beloved tin soldier. The Lord takes my very hand in the dark to lead me back and brings me out of the cold, having me place that same weakened hand over the rythmn against my head. Vash goes stock still as the Lord gives him an answer to his pleading, my fingers lacing into his coat as I whisper, "Beloved... I forgive you..." Vash looks down at me in total shock, my eyes opening slowly as my soul is rekindled to take hold of my being once more. Vash dares not to even blink as he gazes into my clouded eyes, his words full of stunned bewilderment. "...MEGAN?! YOU- YOU- WHAT?!" I take a full breath of air to grip his front tight and whisper, "I forgive you, Vash... Please don't cry... It hurts more to see you in such pain than anything else... So please don't cry anymore... I can't bear to see you in such a state... As does God himself... You are forgiven, my tin soldier... So please don't cry... Don't for one moment ruin yourself further..." I blink a few times to look up at him, my eyes leaking tears of my own as I tell him, "Oh beloved... I never wanted this... I never wanted to give you such heartache... I swear on all that I am that I tried... everything that I could manage... to keep Nicholas with us... But you're right... I should have come to you for help... I'm so sorry... Will you forgive me... For such a costly mistake?" His kiss is my answer, his lips silencing me as he holds me tight. His grip on me brings my chest to his own so our hearts touch, and I put my hands to his neck as I drown in his love. I press my chest to him as hard as I am able, and his arm crushes me to his own in response. His other hand comes behind my head to lace his fingers into my hair in a tight grip, his claim over me apparent as Vash whispers into my mouth, "There is nothing to forgive! Oh Megan, my love, my light, my porcelin ballerina! I cannot believe my eyes or my hearing, even this touch of your warmth and life is an unearned miracle! I am so sorry! I don't deserve to keep you after ripping your soul from your heart with such painful misery!" I silence him with a kiss, my words lacing over his parted lips. "Stop Vash. No more. I shall hear no more. All I ask is for you to love me always. Do so now, make such clear." His grip on me tightens as I bring his mouth back to mine, then we're on the ground as he practically devours me. His hold crushes me as I shiver in his embrace, his mouth tracing down my neck to my shoulder to then come back up. I tilt my head all the way back in offering and his tongue laces over my pulse to have me go wide eyed. "Vash...! Beloved...! Promise me! I am yours! Fully, completely, and with all you have to offer!" His answer is a ragged whisper. "YES! I promise, you are mine! No other may ever have you save God Himself, no one else may take you from my keeping! I claim you for myself, my porcelin ballerina! I will take all that you are, every beautiful piece along with the broken and the wretched that you have hidden away! You are mine, Megan! MINE!" His hand delves into my chest, claiming my heart in a grip that cups my heart in his palm as he swears to me, "I claim this, your very heart! It's beat is now mine to hold in my own!" He presses his mouth to mine to breathe into me, my lungs taking in his breath laced with his love and magic to then say over my lips, "Your breath is mine to savor! Your life is mine to cherish!" His hand at my back crushes me to his frame as he tells me, "Your body is mine to safeguard! Your mind is mine to relish! I claim all that you all, even your soul shall be in my keeping under God's consent!" His kiss presses to the pumping in my chest where his hand traces over my pounding heart. "No more waiting! No more excuses! Megan, you are now and forever more, MINE! ALWAYS!" Vash crushes his lips to my own, his thumb pressing down over the center of my heart. My eyes go from green to shining white as my aura explodes around us in silvered hues, the touch of his claim as searing as the carressing of his fingers to my heart and soul in turn. I clutch at his coat weakly from the sensation, his strength and magic enveloping us both. His power and light laces wings from his back, lifting us up as he holds me to him. His kiss is like Heaven, his touch over my heart like tangible joy, and I take my magic and rip his coat completely off of him. He does the same with my cloak, and both his hands delve under my tunic to rip it from my frame. His touch traces over bare skin as I give a gasp, "AH! Vash! You-" His mouth silences me, and I shudder as his arms crush me to his chest.

My hands rest over his pounding heart, his air coming in hard drags as he devours my mouth with his own. The minutes tick by as he kissing me over and over for me to return the attention eagerly. His fingertips trace over me to then delve to my heart and feather over the pace briefly, returning to my skin as I do the same in turn. We spend almost a full hour in the dance of simple love as we hang suspended in the air. His touch traces over my skin in abandon, my own lacing around his shoulders as I tilt my head all the way back. His kiss presses to the throbbing pulse in my throat, and I shiver as his teeth nip over the beat. The boots Vash was wearing slide off his feet to the grassy meadow below us, and my sandals then do the same. My entire being screams as he breathes over my chest, and my eyes snap open as I realize what we're doing and what both of us will end up doing soon. "Vash?!" His eyes gaze into mine and they too are glowing white as he asks of me, "Megan! Make me yours, right here in this Sacred Grove you so love! Be my first lover, be my only pleasure! All so I never know any desire by a woman but your blessed frame and loving heart!" I go wide eyed as I nearly give in to what we've both been wanting for what seems like a lifetime. But my words are needed as I ask him in turn, "I- You- Vash! Are you sure this is for the right reasons?!" He gives me a questioning look, and I ask him a sobering question in turn. "It has to be for the right reasons, my beloved. I know full well I want more than anything to give you myself and take from you all that you are. But it has to be because of what we are together, not for what we individualy feel and want. Is that your desire behind your request? To make us truly one, in every sense of the word and it's meaning?" He closes his eyes, then his hands grip me tight, "Yes! That is what I want! Though I honestly... I didn't think of it... in that way when I asked..." So I give him my own question to emphasize my point as I say, "If I asked of you for such a desire right now, would you not hold it against me after I had asked the same thing from our Tovaras at your loss?!" Vash flinches at this, his eyes watering as he chokes out, "I- You know full well that- It isn't about- Is that why you think I asked?!" I shake my head to place my hands over his face and say to him, "No. I know full well it wasn't even a forethought. But you might question yourself with these same doubts afterwards. I am making you test yourself, my beloved. If only for you to know the resolve and purpose of your heart's desire and what you seek in pursuing it's guidance. I don't want to accept such an offering from you, only to give you a reason to hate yourself later for asking such of me in our weakness. That would hurt you if I did, and I want that least of all." Vash looks at me and he gets a devilish smile. "So, it isn't because we're supposed to wait until the honeymoon to romp like rabbits, as you'd call it?" I go as red as his coat. "Well, there is that too... But it isn't the only reason I'm hesitant... Great... Way to shoot my concentration full of holes. You remember that story I told you, about the soldier's widow who remarried, only for her first husband to come back a year later?" Vash blinks a few times at this, then he realizes where I'm going with this. "You really do plan on bringing Nicholas back..." I nod at this to exclaim, "Duh! I'm not leaving things as they are without delving through every possible resource and option! He's not staying in that casket, Vash! I'll be damned if I don't find a way to make this right! But think about after he does return by whatever miracle I find to use! How did you feel when you got to the hospital, only to find out what the two of us had done together?!" Vash flinches at this, his understanding evident as he says, "Okay, I get where you're coming from on this. That would probably hurt him even worse than what it did me. Especially since it would mirror what you two did, thereby ruining that moment between the two of you for him. I think he'd rather stay dead than deal with that." I nod at this and tell him, "Exactly. Neither of us wants to hurt him like that. I know full well you'd never forgive yourself, and I'd never make up for that guilt no matter how hard I tried." His sigh is long and tickles my hair, his question asked in a humorless laugh, "Why is it this is where your head went? Especially when I know full well you want this just as much as I do? Yet you seemingly thought of all the reasons we shouldn't give in to each other, why is that?" I chuckle at him and state, "I'm a woman. I have a whole different mindset compared to you and all men in general. It's not a recent revelation that men and women are different, Vash. But I am also adamant at not hurting either of you any more than I already have. As such, the first thought that always comes to me is how my actions might harm either one of you. It's just automatically the first thing that shoots through my head." But Vash nuzzles his nose to mine as he notes, "I see, it makes sense when you explain it that way."

I give Vash a naughty grin to say, "Is it too much to say that I wish we were elves right now?" He looks at me in question. "What?" I laugh at this to explain, "Though it isn't common among the elves of the world of two moons, there are times when a couple becomes a threesome pairing. Where the three have enough love for each other to openly share and give all they have to the other two. Lovemates join for pleasure, lifemates join for love, then there's the recognition aspect I mentioned a while back." Vash goes wide eyed to exclaim, "You mean that-" I burst out laughing at this. "Oh Hell yes! But you two would kill each other right off the bat! I don't care how close of friends you two are! I know full well it wouldn't work out, regardless of how tempting such an easy outlet poses! Elves are much like children, they can love simply and completely, with whomever they find attraction and genuine affection for. Neither you or Nicholas can let me go enough to give me to the other. So it would be a rather costly escapade."


End file.
